Thursday, February 11, 2010

I'm an egg

I have concluded that I'm an egg. I'm 3 things in one, a mother, a worker, and wife- I'm also jelly and unstable on the inside and my exterior is liable to crack easily and spill out all the goopy stuff on the inside without warning.

It's been so long since I've felt like me that I'm not sure if I even remember me, or if I'm just grabbing onto a fragment of my imagination and romanticizing it even as we have a tendency to do when we reminisce.

Will I ever be rational again? Will I ever go more than 2 days without crying? Will I ever sleep more than 2 hours at a time, or more than 6 hours at night? I know that I'm a mom, and soon to be a mom of 3 but are any of these requests unreasonable?

If one more person tells me to treasure these days I think I'll vomit. And that is easy to do in this third pregnancy still- trust me. There are precious moments yes....agreed. But most days I'm too tired to even take notice....

1 comment:

  1. Oh Shamree! I feel with you! I had no sooner started reading the first few sentences of this last night and then Mark and I had a conversation that ended with me all goopy and crying...Not that he said anything bad, mind you, I just cracked under the pressure I'm feeling right now as I struggle to get through pregnancy, the everyday minutiae of teaching, develop my six-week sub plans for my maternity leave, and be there as an attentive, loving wife and mom. Oh yeah, and myself!? Ummm...not happening...Praying for you! Thanks for sharing your heart-it makes me feel a teensy bit better knowing that I'm not the only one feeling this way!