The Olympics, by Shamree

On our nice weekend away to San Diego (so nice we didn't want to come back) we got to watch a little of the Olympics which was a treat as we don't have TV. However, in the midst of all the accomplishments, sorrows, struggles, and victories I realized that these athletes train for years...and it's not so unlike parenthood. You devote yourself to the training, weird schedules, body sacrifices, and frustration for years. So...after careful consideration I'd like to submit the Olympics, as I'd like to see them.


Events for Babies-
1. Pacifier throwing (judged on distance and creativity)
2. Undressing (judged purely on how fast they can get everything off)
3. Kitchen disassembling (how many cabinets and drawers they can empty in 2 minutes)
4. Crib hurdling (how long it takes them to climb out of a crib)
5. Dog chasing (how long it takes to catch a dogs tail, by crawling)
6. Stair climbing (how fast they can climb up, and back down 15 stairs)

Events for Parents-
1. Changing diapers in the dark (judged on speed, thoroughness, and amount of baby crying)
2. Driving marathon- you will need to find a pacifier thrown, give a bottle, and rub a babies forehead until they fall asleep- while driving, without causing an accident.
3. kitchen clean up- how fast you can reassemble your kitchen after baby event #3 above.
4. Mule event- how many bags you can carry with your child for 1/2 mile. Judged on the total weight you can carry, and speed.
5. Bottle making- how well you can get out of bed, down the stairs, across the kitchen floor full of toys, make a bottle and get to your crying kid- in the dark. Timed trial.
6. Car clean up. How fast you can make your car presentable. Vacuuming up crumbs, cleaning sticky stuff off the windows, and removing toys and car seats so 4 adults can go out to dinner.

Combined Events-
1. Stroller pushing- how fast you can push your stroller with your child in it in a 1/2 mile race.
2. How fast you can prepare, feed, and clean up after- your child at dinner. Child must be eating finger foods.
3. bath time- how long it takes to completely bathe your child. judged on how little water is outside the tub, how little crying there is, and how little water resides on you.


So folks...if you are interested in competing please just let me know for which events. I plan to have this start, as soon as I have time to make it happen- haa haa.