Unexpected Blessings

Is it true that the best blessings come in small packages? I hope so. I am pregnant again- and although it is a huge unexpected blessing- it scares me to death. I guess, like the guidance from my uncle- I just need to take some quiet time and meet God and let him do the miraculous- as right now I barely have the energy for all the "blessings" in my house as it is. I love my husband, my almost 3 year old daughter, my 6 month old son- but most of all I sometimes just miss me! I am blessed to have the family I do but selfishly I was not ready for this next blessing. I was ready to dive into work and prove I'm still a great employee after just coming OFF maternity leave to a new manager. I was ready to start losing those excess pounds that have crept up on me. I was ready to have normal eyesight, to drink caffeine or wine as I felt like it. I was ready to sleep through the night.... and here I am starting all over again. I have to say that this ceases the "discussion" between Josh and I about "if" we were going to have more children, but poor Miah- he won't get to be my baby for long. I do have to say that Josh has turned the 180 on me and now is asking questions like "So, do you think it's a boy or girl?" and "I guess this confirms we need a bigger house" and I am now the one that is reeling. My good friend Gladys told me that God has to remind me that I am not in control- even though I think I am and try to be- which I know surprises EVERYONE that knows me. I have to say that I've spent the last week trying to plan, calculate, and re-plan- and yet I end up on my knees each time as I just don't know how to work it all out. I know how I want everything to work out- but the black and white just doesn't add up yet. Looks like a good time to just sit back for awhile, enjoy my family as it is, and let God take control.