Monday, October 5, 2009

Hard night

Tonight is just a hard night. I am so tired I can't do anything. I can't focus at work. I'm not a good mother. I'm not a good wife. I don't even take care of my self like I should. I just have no desire to do anything but sit around and watch movies. And those bring little pleasure with all the crap out there these days- let me tell you. For someone without TV I get appalled at what they call PG-13 these days. Anyways, that is off the subject. I am pretty sure this phase of the pregnancy will end, or at least get better in 5 ish more weeks when I enter my second trimester. But today. Getting to tomorrow seems hard. I feel so guiltily about everything right now. Guilty that I'm not a good worker, that I'm not being a good mom to the 2 kids that need me and to the 1 kid to come. Guilty that my husband has to do everything around here when he needs support from a rough day too and I have nothing to give him. Guilty that all I want to do is crawl into a hole and not come out. Again- I am so tired. Maybe a good night sleep will make everything look better in the morning- because right now- it's pretty dark.

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